The Marathon Monday was definitely a marathon, but I didn't really start to feel it until about 15 minutes into the last class, when I was so tired and sufficiently hungry. However, I think the coming Mondays will be worse, since this past Monday was just for introductions, and three out of four of the classes didn't even go the full two hours. Next Monday, I plan to pack a lunch, which I'll scarf down while walking to/from the building on the godforsaken edge of campus where they throw the classes that don't fit anywhere else. This probably means I will choke on a cheese sandwich while trying to sprint to my class (while wearing Wafflestomper) while
simultaneously slipping on the ice that is STILL not cleared from the pavements because Britain is under a shortage of rock salt and no one owns a shovel.
Besides going to a party on Monday night, which I basically crashed in the middle of, I will now and forever refuse to do anything on Mondays past 6PM besides shovel down food and spend the rest of the night in front of the TV (meaning, most likely, my computer, too). Well, unless there's a good party or outing going on with my friends, because I can't turn down that stuff. Subsequently, I slept til about 1:30 PM on Tuesday, despite being ever-so-rudely awoken by the fire alarm at 11AM (they feel the need to test the obnoxiously loud fire alarm in every building in the Village every Tuesday morning around 11 without fail. Why it needs to be at a time when quite a few people are still sleeping and why they need to check it every week, I have no idea). The super-late lie-in wasn't just a fluke, though, since I did it again today, completely by accident. Whoops.
I think all this
free time unscheduled time from Tuesday to Sunday is making me feel a bit disconnected at the moment. I've spent all of my time outside of class so far reading in my room for classes, sleeping, or out manically running errands, minus the one short party on Monday and the upcoming vacation-planning session tomorrow night. I'm not liking this life so much. My only true enjoyment so far has been sleeping (granted, we all know how much I enjoy that). I know I brought this semester on myself and blah blah blah, and I'm certainly not regretting my decision to stay at UEA, but I think I'm perversely regretting a decision I made back in 2006 to go to university in the first place. Of course, not going to university wasn't an option, given my large conscience and senses of responsibility and reality. At the time, I tricked myself into thinking the whole game might be fun, but I was most certainly wrong, as I knew I would be, and I think very little of this whole experience has been worth it from an academic and monetary point of view. I've thought this for a while (probably since about day 2 at Dickinson), but with my new heightened frustration with academia, it's becoming increasingly obvious to me that not only do I want to graduate ASAP, I
need to graduate ASAP for my own mental health. I barely know what I mean like that, because I'm not the sort that could be clinically depressed or do anything drastic, but I do know that I've been in a slow downward spiral for the past two years, and it's been speeding up lately. I feel likeI've been repressed from September to November and January to May/June since 2008, and I'm tired of it.
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